Two days ago, my mom was talking about a neighbor of us she's in a bad situation, her two boys killed a guy that's is their friend while they were drunk and so drugged.
The woman's boys at trial still and her husband died couple years ago, and she's completely alone, she need help, money and whatever she can get.
While my mom was talking I found myself crying, crying really bad, my nose turned to be red and the whole thing, Firstly my mom thought that I am showing my way of sympathy while saying look at Rana how soft heart-ed she is. but it didn't stop me at this point, I kept crying my eyes dry, I felt in some point that I run out of tears, Don't know WTF went wrong with me, or what came over me, I went to the toilet, I looked at myself there and I saw my red face (lips, nose, cheeks) I felt really stupid, angry and bit bitterness, I think I wasn't crying for the poor woman, not just cause I don't know her, I don't know her kids, I didn't even know about her life until she asked for help from my dad, not just that, but I usually a fun girl, I laugh at anything and every thing, I don't know what's wrong with me getting emotional nowadays.
Last night I was at the kitchen serving lunch, My dad looked at me and said, look at you, look what time is it now, I said, what?! what do you mean baba, He said It's almost midnight and you're making lunch, look at yourself at the mirror, I can see your bones, he took my hand in his hands and started to make the finger measures to my rest, saying loudly you're killing yourself girl, I just kept looking at him, saying nothing absolutely nothing and then I cried, I kept on crying, my tears stopped his loud voice to a nice one, says Shuuush girl, what's wrong, I am sorry, I am just so worried about you, I can't just set and watch you fading day by day.
My mom came to the kitchen running asking what's going on with a scared look at her eyes, what happened, I said nothing, I left my launch there and then I went to my room and I cried, When I lost the love of my life I didn't cry as much as I did last night.
It's not just about that, I found myself crying over the orphans ads, says come an visit us (ta3alo zorona) I used to watch this ad, I don't know why I cry at it now, And the ads of the cancer kids, Yeah No need to talk about Gazza's situations ...
I think I am just stressed, cause I know myself I usually cry when I am frustrated, and upset. the funny thing that I look at myself and think until I realize that I was crying over stupid little things and began laughing at myself instead because I was doing so.
I don't know how to be less emotional, I think I have crying thyroid disorder wallahi, I am considering in mind seeing a doctor and talking some medication to control the crying thyroid for me , but I don't know what kind doctors should I visit, Do I need a therapist?!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Protocols when going to register!
I have been browsing through net since almost three years now, I've met examples for scum people, night species and little few for a decent ones.
There are many people on net that having internet life problems. Just like gambling, or alcohol, or video games, or a lot of other legal activities, some people just can't help it interferes with their social life in a way or another and screwing it so bad.
So now I am wondering what is the proper protocol for the net registration, Do we strip down as soon as we get at the forums? or set up our base and then strip? lol Do we stay naked the whole time we are there? Should we talk to other people or just keep to ourselves? If a guy has a "smooth" body will people find that strange? If a guy started to talk about himself loudly and talked logically in topics will people call him pervert?
What's the point of register to an open minded forum, if not to be nude? *gawky*
God! I am feeling grossed out of you people net/image addiction!
You probably think that you should build yourself this kind of image maybe believes that you can't compare to those other people around ..... knowing this IS wrong! But can't stop being a jerk off.
Why ... why ... why?
Why you people spent almost all of your life trying to show others someone your not, proof to them how much your life heaven alike, why don't you spend half this time trying to find out what you want, what you really want not what people want you to want, trying to fix your messed up life that you run from it on internet pages!
Am I infected? Maybe, somehow I found myself a way to deal with such people, Hey don't worry between all this nudity I am keeping in mind the eye contact rules lol
Anyways I am letting go of all this pointless drama, and the people who live to create it!
وليخسأ الخاسأون
There are many people on net that having internet life problems. Just like gambling, or alcohol, or video games, or a lot of other legal activities, some people just can't help it interferes with their social life in a way or another and screwing it so bad.
So now I am wondering what is the proper protocol for the net registration, Do we strip down as soon as we get at the forums? or set up our base and then strip? lol Do we stay naked the whole time we are there? Should we talk to other people or just keep to ourselves? If a guy has a "smooth" body will people find that strange? If a guy started to talk about himself loudly and talked logically in topics will people call him pervert?
What's the point of register to an open minded forum, if not to be nude? *gawky*
God! I am feeling grossed out of you people net/image addiction!
You probably think that you should build yourself this kind of image maybe believes that you can't compare to those other people around ..... knowing this IS wrong! But can't stop being a jerk off.
Why ... why ... why?
Why you people spent almost all of your life trying to show others someone your not, proof to them how much your life heaven alike, why don't you spend half this time trying to find out what you want, what you really want not what people want you to want, trying to fix your messed up life that you run from it on internet pages!
Am I infected? Maybe, somehow I found myself a way to deal with such people, Hey don't worry between all this nudity I am keeping in mind the eye contact rules lol
Anyways I am letting go of all this pointless drama, and the people who live to create it!
وليخسأ الخاسأون
Saturday, February 7, 2009
People keeps cutting me off!!
Well speaking from personal experience same thing keeps happens to me, the thing my friends would talk about is their problems and what should they do about it, It's been like when I talk about anything I found them keeps cutting me off except when I am talking about them, their problems, their life, what's going on with them and only them, But if I turned the subject about myself or an issues that it's mine, I found them surprisingly make it turns about them back, while sharing with a similar issues that's going on with them.
If I said something like 'I was really sick last night' I find the person whom I am talking with went like 'tell me about it!, I have been really sick this week'!
And what is wrong with these people asking a question and answering it themselves, I mean it's not a competition, People you are not going to win a binny lol
The surprising thing and it's might shock you, that I do it to myself sometimes, And thats a new face for the cutting off, When I start to talk about a subject like 'I look fantastic tonight, ..' and all of a sudden I found myself cutting myself off with the absolute opposite for what I started, like 'God look how fat my belly is in this Pants, ...'
I, personally think it's when you speak yourself loudly the sound somehow became senseless and you found yourself changing your mind in less than a minute =D
And when I try to describe something to someone, 'This mobile is so amazing full of options you can, oh but it's cam is not that amazing, I guess you don't wanna have this phone'
Geez!
PS. it's my first time to blog, And haven't even read a blog for someone before (maybe I have but not worth mention) anyways here we go my thoughts and what's up with me.
btw my mom's birthday is today and I made her a nice cake :)
Happy birthday mamotii
If I said something like 'I was really sick last night' I find the person whom I am talking with went like 'tell me about it!, I have been really sick this week'!
And what is wrong with these people asking a question and answering it themselves, I mean it's not a competition, People you are not going to win a binny lol
The surprising thing and it's might shock you, that I do it to myself sometimes, And thats a new face for the cutting off, When I start to talk about a subject like 'I look fantastic tonight, ..' and all of a sudden I found myself cutting myself off with the absolute opposite for what I started, like 'God look how fat my belly is in this Pants, ...'
I, personally think it's when you speak yourself loudly the sound somehow became senseless and you found yourself changing your mind in less than a minute =D
And when I try to describe something to someone, 'This mobile is so amazing full of options you can, oh but it's cam is not that amazing, I guess you don't wanna have this phone'
Geez!
PS. it's my first time to blog, And haven't even read a blog for someone before (maybe I have but not worth mention) anyways here we go my thoughts and what's up with me.
btw my mom's birthday is today and I made her a nice cake :)
Happy birthday mamotii
My first post as a blogger YAY
As most of you know me I am multi-talented girl, I can write in my blog, having fights, passing by you on MSN and be creative!
I love what I do, It’s nothing mostly and that’s why I love it!
To be continued…
Gracias ~
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