Two days ago, my mom was talking about a neighbor of us she's in a bad situation, her two boys killed a guy that's is their friend while they were drunk and so drugged.
The woman's boys at trial still and her husband died couple years ago, and she's completely alone, she need help, money and whatever she can get.
While my mom was talking I found myself crying, crying really bad, my nose turned to be red and the whole thing, Firstly my mom thought that I am showing my way of sympathy while saying look at Rana how soft heart-ed she is. but it didn't stop me at this point, I kept crying my eyes dry, I felt in some point that I run out of tears, Don't know WTF went wrong with me, or what came over me, I went to the toilet, I looked at myself there and I saw my red face (lips, nose, cheeks) I felt really stupid, angry and bit bitterness, I think I wasn't crying for the poor woman, not just cause I don't know her, I don't know her kids, I didn't even know about her life until she asked for help from my dad, not just that, but I usually a fun girl, I laugh at anything and every thing, I don't know what's wrong with me getting emotional nowadays.
Last night I was at the kitchen serving lunch, My dad looked at me and said, look at you, look what time is it now, I said, what?! what do you mean baba, He said It's almost midnight and you're making lunch, look at yourself at the mirror, I can see your bones, he took my hand in his hands and started to make the finger measures to my rest, saying loudly you're killing yourself girl, I just kept looking at him, saying nothing absolutely nothing and then I cried, I kept on crying, my tears stopped his loud voice to a nice one, says Shuuush girl, what's wrong, I am sorry, I am just so worried about you, I can't just set and watch you fading day by day.
My mom came to the kitchen running asking what's going on with a scared look at her eyes, what happened, I said nothing, I left my launch there and then I went to my room and I cried, When I lost the love of my life I didn't cry as much as I did last night.
It's not just about that, I found myself crying over the orphans ads, says come an visit us (ta3alo zorona) I used to watch this ad, I don't know why I cry at it now, And the ads of the cancer kids, Yeah No need to talk about Gazza's situations ...
I think I am just stressed, cause I know myself I usually cry when I am frustrated, and upset. the funny thing that I look at myself and think until I realize that I was crying over stupid little things and began laughing at myself instead because I was doing so.
I don't know how to be less emotional, I think I have crying thyroid disorder wallahi, I am considering in mind seeing a doctor and talking some medication to control the crying thyroid for me , but I don't know what kind doctors should I visit, Do I need a therapist?!
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I'm not really sure about the following but it has been told several times. Funny persons and people with a high sense of humor tend to be so emotional and they mostly hide behind a thick wall of pain and deep emotions and that they compensate this by spreading their laughs and their funny spirits as they have a funny sense of humor. Even though, they don't fake their smiles, they just do it unintentionally thinking they will feel better, and it usually works, but not all the time.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to be fragile and depressed to feel the people's pain! Probably, laughing people with nice sense of humor are the most sensitive people who have to feel and get affected by the surroundings and that's why the comedian actors keep saying that they are the most unlucky people ever as they already can please the others and make them laugh, they are talented enough to draw a smile on the faces, while they can't make themselves laugh. Although this seems to be ironic, but it makes sense in many cases, especially yours, Rana.
Passing through this phase could be temporal and you will recover sooner or later. Such emotions and tears doesn't mean that you need to review a therapist, in fact there is nothing to worry about, only in case if you think that you are suffering from the "Feeling" decease!
God bless you, girl. :-)
You see when you dry you have something you want to let out let it go out and you would be fine.. No Therapist needed if every crying person went to one then the entire country would be therapists to manager don't you think?
ReplyDeletelol @ 3abd el fatah el qasry and nageeb el rehany's fucked up mood Picasso
ReplyDeleteI am not a comedian, not even close to be a one, anyways, you have a point a great one, I read about such things and I feel sad for those people, So are you telling me that if I laughed at some much do I have to cry the exact same much as I laughed? like a life balance kind of thing? :D
anyway thanks for passing by sweets :]
Sarah .. Sarah (I hope that you're the Sara whom I have in mind)
Anyways, yeah I believe so, though, I realized something, It has something to do with me not being active, I mean when I don't make any activities beside, sleeping and browsing the net most of the time, I get sad, and frustrated and voila feeding the crying process in a way or two.
but when I hang out with my friends, cousins or whoever, I feel better and I cry less.
I guess it has something to do with the winter times and the type of sleeping hours and food that I get each day.
Thanks both of you :]